The year is 2008. Kate and her mother are at a diner. Kate is picking at the last of her sandwich; her mother is empting six packets of sugar and four creams into a coffee cup. They are discussing her younger brother, who is in his semester abroad. They are mid-conversation.
Kate’s Mom: Oh, I don’t think Brendan dates.
K: He does too.
KM: How do you know?
K: I saw it on his blog.
KM: What?
K: I saw it on his blog.
KM: How do you get to a “blog”?
K: Oh, Mom, I am so not telling you. (laughs) Then he would tell you how to get to my blog.
KM: You have a “blog”?
K: No. Never mind.
KM: Well, is he dating anyone special? Any special guy?
K: I don’t know.
KM: Ask him!
K: Mom! No! I’m not going to do that.
KM: Why not?
K: It’s nosy! It’s totally…it’s intrusive.
KM: No, it’s not.
K: Mom, of course it is! It’s like, oh, I don’t know….like if you asked me (waves hand in the air) how many people I’ve slept with, or whatever.
(pause)
KM: How many people have you slept with?
K: Mommmmmmmmm!
KM: Well, let’s see… (names people she knows Kate has dated*) there’s John, and Mark, and Adam…and that artist, what was his name?…Peter? Paul?
K: MOM!
KM: Wasn’t there a musician?
K: MA!
KM: Okay, okay.
(pause)
Five?
K: MOM!
*Names changed to protect the innocent.
“Just give me a ballpark number. 6? 10? 3?”
hi, i just wanted to say that i think you were blowing it up over BCP today regarding safe sex. your views are great, and you seem very well-educated on the subject and present it with such fervor, that it really engages readers like myself, and i’m only one person that reads it. so thank you
Comment by angiesyounglover — July 29, 2008 @ 3:14 am
Bwaaa, thanks. I appreciate it.
Comment by katastic — July 29, 2008 @ 3:30 am
Oh my god, your mom is hilarious.
Comment by braak — August 16, 2008 @ 9:49 pm
The best part is the voice. I’m sad you can’t hear my impression of her. Imagine Grover from the muppets, if he had smoked cigarettes for forty years.
Comment by katastic — August 16, 2008 @ 10:05 pm