I live in Washington Heights, NYC (stalkers take note), and as such, every day/night when I walk down my street, I am greeted by what my roommates and I call “The Gauntlet”:
PSsssssst!Psst! (finger snap) Pssst pssst!
God BLESS you.
God BLESS you, mami.
Ohh, you so beautiful. Are you a model?
Girl, I like that. Mmmm. Vanilla.
And those are the polite guys. Worse are the
Shake it. Yeaaahhhh. I see you. I like that ass.
I like that fat ass. (EXCUSE YOU, MOTHERFUCKER?)
What? You don’t want to talk? You don’t want to be my friend? Stuck-up.
Hey, girl. Heyyyyy. Bend over for me.
…and worse. It doesn’t matter what you wear, it doesn’t matter how you look, it doesn’t matter how late or early it is- every time is catcalling time in the Heights! It’s been especially bad lately- the weather’s been nice, and there are big groups of men hanging out on the stoops. The worst part is that there’s no way to respond-at an especially nasty comment, I’ll give a dirty look, or flip them off, or yell at them, but in most cases, it’s better just to ignore the catcalls- these guys feed off the attention. I’ve had men in my neighborhood lunge into my personal space, within inches of me, while catcalling, which feels especially frightening and enraging. One feels powerless and pissed and exposed.
So I have an idea.
I think the city of New York, to discourage street harassment of women and generally improve the quality of life citywide, should award to one out of every 100,000 women in the city (chosen by lottery) a brand-new top of the line bazooka.
And the license to kill or maim, without legal penalty, up to 5 catcallers in a calendar year.
Now I’m not saying every woman would accept it, or use the privilege, but wouldn’t the thought that an overstuffed purse just MIGHT contain a high-powered assault weapon make these guys really consider how important it is to them to comment on that. sweet. ass.?
Mayor Bloomberg, I rest my case.
I think this is an excellent idea. Just as the sound of even an unloaded shotgun being pumped drives intruders away, just CARRYING the damn weaponry seems like it would do the trick. Are bazookas street legal in NYC? Because, uh, they really oughta be.
Comment by myrtlebeachbum — August 14, 2008 @ 3:30 am
It is for this reason I nearly bought some serious switchblades a few years ago during a particularly bad catcalling season. (Are they like locusts and cicadas? Do they have good years/ bad years?)
Had I purchased those knives, there would have been carcasses littered all over south Minneapolis, so it’s probably best I passed on the weaponry. Buying a flamethrower, though, is still in the back of my mind.
Comment by nadarine — August 15, 2008 @ 4:07 am
I hate me some catcalling motherfuckers, yo. I really, really do. Pls. don’t ever hang out with me in your ‘hood, because I will not even know how to handle that shit without getting us both killed.
That said, I TOTES support the Bazooka Measure. Where do I sign?
Comment by Skinny Bone Jones — August 20, 2008 @ 6:46 am
Can we get this measure passed in North Carolina too? Cause I’d like to be in charge of blowing away asshole catcallers.
Comment by dorothyzbornak — August 22, 2008 @ 7:15 pm
can i just give a big ol’ PREACH IT, SISTER(!!!)? i live somewhere with a high concentration of latino men, and while it’s maybe not pc to say so, they are the worst offenders i have encountered. and i cannot really even know what they are saying, but it’s hard to miss the tone, and the staring makes me want to freaking kick ‘em in the NUTS!! how come that would get me arrested for assault, but i have to be subjected to this?? jeez, i could really go off on a diatribe, but luckily im now really late for work….
Comment by imjustskinny — September 19, 2008 @ 2:47 pm
Hey there. My blog linked to your blog via WordPress and I think I understand why. We’re covering a lot of the same subjects! That being said, here’s another perspective on the NYC catcaller issue:
http://thetragicallyunhip.com/2008/08/18/things-we-have-lovehate-relationships-with-4
P.S. I’m Canadian, so I don’t approve of guns—loaded or otherwise!
Comment by Gen Di Napoli — September 23, 2008 @ 3:40 am
Bitch, yes. I support this measure as well.
Comment by The Mayor of Bethville — October 2, 2008 @ 5:16 pm
You know who doesn’t ever update her damn blog?
Katastic.
Comment by threatqualitypress — October 20, 2008 @ 6:39 pm
With a name like Katastic, shouldn’t you expect a little catcalling every now and then? Just sayin’.
Comment by NoMoreMrNiceGuy — January 28, 2009 @ 11:00 pm